The past several days have been rough. A lot on my heart and mind and the “what’s on your mind?” thing on Facebook has been in my face and I have been pondering what to share and what to keep to myself….
February 14, 2017 my mom met her Jesus face to face. As I faced Valentine’s day the past 2 years I have not been filled with the typical romantic love kind of feelings. My heart is overwhelmed, with peace, sorrow, hope and a longing for Heaven like never before. This year was different… On February 12 Mark came to me and had me sit down… I just knew what he was going to tell me, and I was right. He told me that a friend had passed away. Even though she was my parents age, she was my friend. I have only known her since I met Mark’s grandparents and Chuck and Ramona Gainey were introduced right after family. Mr Gainey met his Savior about a year ago. On Feb 12, 2019 Ramona met her Lord and Savior face to face! So while I am mixed with grief and sadness for MY loss. For the family. I am also reminded of how much the world needs to know about the Hope of Heaven.
Today we shuffled kids… One at home. 3 were left at a friends home. And 2+ one we picked up along the way were left at my in laws during the funeral. My in laws were at the funeral as well, as my friend attended their church.
Once it was just Mark and me in the van, it HIT me… 2 years ago, same day was my mom’s funeral (the first one- there were two). So as I cried… Mark sat with me. Then once we got in to the church for the service, so many emotions hit me.
I am still grieving my loss of my mom. And while my Jesus has comforted me, and I feel a sense of peace. I still grieve my loss. In the past several months I have been facing an incredible amount of grief. Various reasons, some my own health, some my kids health, and some unexpected heartbreak, let alone my mom’s death. It weighs heavy on my heart. But I am reminded that Today is the day the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! My friend always greeted me with a smile. At Bible Study my first time back after my mom passed away, Ramona greeted me with a huge smile (like normal). She expressed heart felt sorrow at my loss, but gracefully reminded me that my mom is with Jesus. She is healed! She is in a way better place than I am. And now, today we celebrated Ramona…. And my thoughts went to my mom. I wonder if they have met yet? I wonder if they swapped stories about me. I wonder if that kind of thing even matters in heaven?!
As I continue to process and work my way through my grief… I pray that my smile will shine through the tears… And that someday people will say that MY smile encouraged them. Or that they knew that I prayed for them….
Remember a few things –
This is the day that the LORD has made, rejoice and be glad in it!!
Because of Jesus we have HOPE in heaven!!!