Isaac had a med review today. Routinely, I go in and request something or have a specific behavior to target and see what we can do…. However today I felt like I went in and said I wish you could just fix this problem.
Over the past few weeks, months Isaac has continued to grow. He is offically 6′ and is now 225#. Let’s just say that his hits, kicks and punches are not so gentle. My walls look like war ruins. Glass broken, things destroyed. I have gotten punched rather randomly several times lately. – enough to leave me winded.
I want to help our sweet boy. I want to keep him safe, and us safe, and our house safe. To keep others safe I have been transporting Isaac to and from school. That requires more gas money and keeping my already crazy shedule available at certain times.
Add in sinus infections for 2 kids. General seasonal change gunk…. Mom is so far over stretched and over stressed….
A break, respite, a date with my husband… Those things haven’t been an option.
A very very dear friend who has over the years done amazing things to bless our family stated to me after observing the end of school day chaos and therapists in action and meltdowns and everyone IN MY FACE… She said with a tender voice, I doubt I could even watch your kids safely anymore. And she gave me a hug. There are no easy solutions. There are NO easy fixes.
I need prayer. I need some backup in areas other than kid care since that has obviously become way more than most can handle… We however- do not have an option and dealing with life, taking the next step and continuing in the stress is where we are.
Let me review….
1) God is still God and he is still on the throne and He alone has a perfect plan for my family
2) emotional support, as well as prayers, physical support are needed
3) this is not a death sentence and it is not the stomach flu- what???
What we are facing today- is not likely to lessen as years go by. Kids will continue to grow, demands will continue to be there.
This is not a lack of faith or a ” you just need to pray more”situation!
We truly need the church (churches), to come along side. To walk with us as best they can.
The church, the body of believers must learn how to actively support and love families like mine. We are not the only one…
We have the highly stressful holidays upon us. Many family gatherings we end up refusing for a multitude of reasons…. Too far to travel ( only 2-2 1/2 hours away) or to crowded.
We cannot attend a family gathering and simply send the kids to play and we sit down and relax and chat with others– ha ha– does not happen for us! I miss that. I miss my family ( mine- Kathleen- is farther away) most of Mark’s family is local. I do not even have the time to drop Isaac at school- drive to see my mom/ dad and get home in time to pick him up from school. We have in home therapy 6/7 days a week. Sunday is our only day off. And we have no outside support that day- we rotate who stays home with Isaac, and sometimes Will as well.
I am not stating all this to make anyone feel bad or guilty i am not trying to guilt you into helping or anything like that. I would simply like to challenge people to be aware.
I think what hit me the most— that friend that came over Wednesday…. I needed a hug. A reminder from someone that i am doing my best! I thinj what got me most was when she realized how much more severe things truly were than she had realized. We have known each other since before Isaac so over 14 years, likely closer to 15! And to have her be shocked at the difference and the need… It got to me. She chose to drive a ways on a quick round trip just to hug me.
I am not exaggerating when I say I am struggling. I know that many people hesitate to ask me how I am– because they aren’t able to handle the truth. My reality is too much for them, too different.
But as we face each day we know that God alone is carrying us. This song has been on my heart… I simply need held. I realize no one has all the answers and my situation is daunting and overwhelming. BUT- a hug, stopping to pray, caring enough to do something, small or great- doesn’t matter just do something.
Check this out as you go about your day….