I’ve said it before… For a stay at home mom, I don’t stay home much!!!
Monday Mark had an appt and I rode along because we were going to use a gift card and go out to lunch… But I got a call that Will had a fever and needed picked up . so we hurry to do that, off to another stop, home for lunch and I have to run back out to get Isaac.
We cancel therapy due to a sick person in home. Guess what…. I was gone all day and still needed to feed people. But I was so exhausted… I pulled out a freezer meal that was given to us , Mark graciously put it in the oven while Isaac and I hung out upstairs away from the chaos.
Monday felt like a really really long day. And it was super hard to not be upset about missing a date with Mark. It certainly was NOT Will’s fault he was sick. And life goes on. We take the next step. We offer to do all and be all for these kiddos.
Tuesday I had a transportation meeting regarding Isaac, and if this leaves you confused…. Read the last blog… Mark was home with Will and Lucas who were both not feeling well
I had that meeting, went to a Love Inc Pantry… Hurried home, grabbed a sandwich, started laundry, … Thankfully I had started supper in the morning in the crock pot.
Hurried of to another meeting, ran to the store, stopped to vote. Hurried home, Mark went off to vote. When he got home- I ran out to pick up Isaac from school.
Got home and I had loads of stuff to do that the kids hadn’t done the day before. Will was sick and couldn’t do his laundry or pick up in laundry room ( his job for the day) and several others chose to do nothing. So I had dishes out the wazoo. Hurried to get that done, finish meal prep and serve dinner. Only to have a child mock me, and decide to disrespect me. So I walked away. Responding to this child does nothing and only adds fuel to the fire. ( we have outside support on board and on the way for this child… And since I am not sharing all the details– please do not waste your breath telling me what I could’ve done better)
Eventually I think we can settle and go to sleep…. Stress and lack of sleep and lack of simple rest have caused a huge fibromyalgia flare. So I have major pain, random pain…. My pinched nerve is back in spite of me trying to keep up with my PT at home.
It will come up later– Isaac was up from about 1:30 AM on….
Wednesday I had to drive Isaac to school ( and Will excitedly returned to school), then headed off to BSF ( Bible Study Fellowship) I had volunteered to serve in children’s dept a few weeks back and this Wednesday was the day.
Who knew that I needed hugs from cute little kids? Who knew I needed to sit and be silly, play with play dough, put on their little shoes, swing kiddos in the sensory room, hold kiddos who just needed a little support. These precious little ones…. Some I knew, some I had never met until that day. It was such a joy to hear one little girl answer a question about a previous lesson and she said “Jesus did it because He is God and he is good.”
Yup. Sometimes I just need to sit at Jesus feet….. I need to come to Jesus like the children that he welcomed to surround him….
No matter how strong outsiders think I am, I am nothing without the help and grace and strength of Jesus. Every step I take. Every breath I breathe, I know that God alone is my strength. Now- mesh with that my extreme exhaustion, being surrounded by kids with severe behavioral problems, not getting enough sleep…. Oh– did I mention Isaac woke up at 1:30 AM Wednesday. Why??? Because it was swimming day. He could not contain his excitement!!! ( a video was shared on facebook!!)
Then the kids had early release, so I did not do dishes, did not do laundry, did not eat lunch…. I went to bed and set an alarm for when the first kids were to arrive home. About then Mark headed off to an appt. He got home in time for me to go out and get Isaac from school. Isaac had therapy at 3:30-6:30…
Then by 6 Mark had to leave again, this time to take Aidan to jr hi boys bible study.
A long day for sure. The emotional toll to that point had nearly crushed me. Did I forget that God was in control? No. Did I have a change of heart? No. I am walking a fine line. A very very fine line, between dearly needing a break just so I can hold it together, and pulling myself up from nonexistent reserves to just do the next thing. Love on the next person!!
Today I had to be up be 5:30 again ( still) to get ready to go to Grand Rapids for the day.
Get older ones off to their busses, drop Will off to his bus, drop Isaac at his school…. Then to Grand Rapids with Jonathan.
I will not share too much… He has encoprisis, with severe constipation. He has never really been able to poop on the toilet without help,like an enema,laxitive or miralax type of thing. We met with a pediatric GI doctor. We have a plan in place and hope to make forward progress. We check back with the doctor as needed but for sure in 3 months. Please pray that Jonathan’s little body will heal. That we can help nourish his body and he will continue to develop and grow
We took the time while in GR to swing by our old stomping grounds – Cornerstone University!! A new twist of emotions slammed me as I walked on campus. Thankful for the time I spent there. Thankful that Lucas hopes to go there next fall.
Then I met with my sister in law for lunch! Mark,Jon and I enjoyed a quick visit over lunch:) hugs were wonderful but never long enough!
We pick Isaac up from school to hear he had a fantastic day and had gone to the store with staff. And did well!!
He had therapy this evening. He is currently still WIDE awake. And loud. Very very loud!!! Happy noises are better than aggression but they still drain energy and patience!
Tomorrow we are excited to go see Aidan play at a local Veteran’s Day event.( if you are local- and interested lmk- I will get you time and location!)
So. Dishes and laundry, and cleaning….
Wednesday evening I folded about 4 very full loads of laundry…. I still have piles more waiting, and cleaning sheesh- some days I wonder why I bother to assign jobs if the kids refuse to do them- certain kids… Working fervently on those issues. Daily!
Before tomorrow gets here and I have to run full speed again… I pray Isaac sleeps and I can too.
This is one reason why the weekends are never restful for us.
I need a break big time, but Isaac has not been to respite since March…. And juggling him plus several others with pretty crazy behaviors is very very complicated for Mark. (Long story- not for him not wanting to do it…)
This is a week in my life….
I think I need a nap tomorrow already 😜😜