May 14….

I shared a memory on facebook earlier today(yesterday!) About Isaac’s diagnosis…
I thought maybe I’d take some time to share how the past 9 years have been for our family….

No matter what anyone says even though we walked in KNOWING our son had autism… Hearing the doctor look us in the eyes, while ours brimmed with tears. “You are correct, your son has autism”.
I saw it coming but it still felt like a sicker punch in the gut…

We had a very loving friend watching our other kids… So we left that appointment. Got lunch. Went to Family Christian stores and Mark bought me something I treasure… A Bible. The date forever written there, a positive memory. Where I found my strength then. Where I find my strength today.

Not in people but in God. While I do find comfort in a good friend’s encouraging words. It does not fill the void in my heart… My hearts void can only be filled by my Savior- Jesus !

Each day several things have proven true over the past 9 years. God is good. My kids will amaze me. I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with autism. I love how it enables my son to be innocent in the most endearing ways. But I hate how it causes him to be awake all hours of the night and how it causes him to rage inconsolably at times.

An interesting twist… Around the end of May 2007 we discovered ( not part of our plans….) That we were expecting…. We had that sweet baby in early January of 2008…. And in the Fall of 2012 that precious son was also diagnosed with autism.

God weaved this all together. Those boys are so different but yet alike. Meltdowns are not fun with either.

I daily find my strength in Christ alone. I fight depression. I know God is good and has a perfect plan. But the exhaustion, the emotional strain take a toll. This life I live is not for the faint of heart. 

Every day I start out with a plan, a schedule. Then as the day goes on- I throw the best laid plans out the window and care for my family as best as I can.

While many feel I could do more, to them I say- I dare you to live a day, a week a month… Around the clock…. In my shoes.

Because we have HOPE.


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