Change yet still the same…

i’m not sure how to share this delicately. With respect to my amazing son. But I realize I am not the only parent facing this.  Tonight while Mark and I were attempting a minute or two of actual face to face conversation Isaac ran off to the bathroom…. Normally he can handle things for a quick trip to the bathroom. But moments later… Clad only in a tshirt he runs back into the living room… Granted this was comical when he was a toddler… But he is a 5’7″ 190# teenager. His body didn’t get the memo that he can go from screaming “leave me alone” to “I want my mommy”– within the same breath.

Nothing really prepares you for trying to get a child that big into the shower— no mommy. No don’t touch me. Mommy I want the bath… ( jonathan had just been sent to take a bath in that few minutes) i was trying to convince him to shower in our shower, but he wanted a bath. The sensation is different… The sensory imput is different… He knew what he wanted/ needed- but I couldn’t make that happen…. So he screamed at me and threw water on me but he did wash himself clean…. And dress himself… All the while screaming at me…

How does one bounce from sweet tender hugs with same child to this? And the demands of others? 

This is my life! I was praying this afternoon and thanking God for all the kids unique qualities. I realize that God didn’t make any mistakes when he gave these children to us. We have our own set of quirks:) new and old:)

But how does one juggle the emotions? I can’t fathom only one child. But picture with me life with only Isaac…. Wow, there are many areas he would be lacking but because of siblings he has greatly benefited. Think a moment about me- the mom. Once he was asleep each night I would be able to process the daily occurrences. But in real life I hop from one child’s needs to another. As most moms and dads do. We strive each day to lovingy teach independence to our precious children. We also share our faith but that is a different post….

How do I teach my children that I’ve got to take care of me? They are not wired to understand that! They simply need mom! And all this isn’t bashing Mark because he got up and redirected Isaac but then was doing something  with other kids. He deals with meltdowns and flung poop and all kinds of loveliness…. 

He is right here by my side working hard to help train and lovingly parent these children. 

But- what do you do when the cup is dry… That barrel of reserve strength has been dry to days, weeks, months, years…. You get a short break or reprieve. But it simply wets the palate. It does nothing to restore the reserves.  How do you think this person might feel? What would you want done for you if it were you? What if it was you but you don’t even know what you need, how to get it or where to start??

What if you have ideas on how to get that but no funds to pay for time away, no help for the homefront… What if a one time thing wasn’t really enough? 

The thing is- this is not just ME and my family. Even though I am physically and emotionally wiped out…. I have friends who need a note of encouragement… Or they need a helping hand, they are in similar shoes…. I see the need, i want to help, i try to help but I have nothing to give….  It scares me in all honesty.
Check out this link…. Feel free to share ways you think it might be helpful to help a person in need like this…..

http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Signs-Youre-Burnt-Out-Mom-38062605

I hope you have a fabulous evening. 🙂

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