Struggling tonight- i wish we could watch a movie , play a game, eat a meal…. Do anything as a family without all the chaos, screaming, hurtful words and drama….Sad watching one kid miss out because someone else is struggling…
As a parent- I’m tired of being so incredibly exhausted that normal daily life is painful for me.
Meal prep, staying awake, laundry, groceries, menu, and so on…. Mark does soooo much- if you only knew all he does at home.
But still there is much for me to do and a lot of emotional energy is expended dealing with kids with special needs.
That is difficult for the other kids- having a sibling that is always angry, screaming mean hurtful/ hate filled things….
My point is this. As much as we push to help others and we reach out to help as often as we can…. We need help too.
I cannot maintain the strong routine they need and maintain the home.
But since that appears to be my only option. I take it head on- prayerfully I face each day. Each moment of the day.
And when i say I am exhausted…. I can’t find the words to express the depth of my exhaustion….. It hurts. Hurts to get out of bed, to get up. I spend 3 hours (6-9) dealing with kids and helping get them ready and off to school. Dealing with meltdowns because I don’t have what they want for breakfast or for a snack…
All the whine I am so tired that I drift off while they are talking to me… This is a daily occurrence….
It hurts to lift my arms to do simple daily chores. Making a meal. Something I love doing- is incredibly difficult. But obviously my precious children need fed- so I work at juggling them and their needs and meal prep…. I miss quality time with my kids.
If I sit to play a game with 1-2…. Then the others are vying for attention and taking away from the others. Some choose to do this, others are unaware of their behaviors.
When you parent special needs kids your life is even moreso not your own. I laid down today because Jonathan needed a short nap- only way to do that was- watch some tv, he fell asleep quickly. But I was on the phone…. Then when done with that- was so exhaused– i thought I will just rest a bit…. A bathroom was covered with soap, lotion, and more. And the kitchen was trashed. Lucas stepped up and cleaned that up- calmly and without attitude or attempting praise. He also helped redirect Isaac. He could tell mom was exhausted.
I wasn’t just sitting around wasting time and ignoring kids. I struggle with my own serious health issues. Extreme exhaustion is a big piece. I also push through that and pain daily to do what needs done…. But I have pushed for so long and I’m weary….
Hugs from faithful far away friends today was a blessing. Hugs from friends that live nearby but we don’t see as often anymore was also a blessing.
But how do I face each day?? I cry. A lot. The things I go through each day- if I could chose to avoid 1 thing it would be the emotional energy drain that one child in particular outs forth. But that isn’t an option.
So: have you ever been so exhausted that life seemed to be too much? What did you do to reenergize yourself? What self care tips have worked for you that you would like to share with me?
I have many ideas but can’t do them and everything else.:)
If nothing else-
1) remember that God is there ready to be your salvation and your strength.
2) i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Blessings because of HIM,