Reflections – written Tuesday afternoon- forgot to post…
Last night I just couldn’t settle in for sleep and before i could…. Isaac was awake! He was WIDE AWAKE! He does this thing where he sits( flops his 150# self) on the edge of my bed… Or me…
And starts poking me…. Saying… “Wake up wake up wake up!!!” It is in that moment that his voice actually grates at my nerves…. But last night I tried to guide and be calm….
I felt snippy and edgy. Idk if it came across that way to him or not…
It had been a rough afternoon- evening… He got off the bus and started poking me. He wanted to go to the movie store.
I am NOT that brave… Maybe a school trip and we can work on behavior goals??? But i can’t do it!
And his behaviors escalated quickly and he became enraged- began hitting himself… Kicking… Then he kicked me. I was squatting down “on guard” but apparently he caught me in a weak spot or I’m simply not as good as I thought:) but he caught my hands with his feet… Full force and I thankfully was on carpet and was able to roll backwards. At that point I fought to remain calm. I wanted to grab the others and walk away… For their safety. But then he caught Mark in a kick of his legs, hopefully we can take the brunt of that and not have him hurting himself or any siblings or anyone us….
He did calm down. I was so pleased to see how well he worked at it. A skill practiced at Wesley School!! M
He had some ups and downs but then hid in his room with an electronic device and enjoyed his squeezee sheet and his tent…
But then woke up with that screaming….
It felt random, he did ask for a snack. Unless he has been ill or I know he truly needs to eat. That is NOT a habit I am willing to pick up!
He did settle. Listening to relaxation music from my phone… Im going to look up that stuff on spotify today! I need to be prepared!!!
I felt exhausted as I attempted to get snacks ready for school and to pack Isaac’s lunch… I was so unable to organize my thoughts I felt like I was going to burst into tears when Jonathan said- good morning momma….
But I found an inner strength. Not in myself but I know that God provided that for me this morning.
Many praying for me. And God has provided strength and grace.